DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
In our today's society, women have a lot of pressure on them from the men in their lives and people around them alike.
☆ Today, women are becoming independent, getting jobs and taken care of other people around them so that they do not have to depend so much on men.
One thing that has not changed with women however is the violence that they encounter from the men in their lives.
☆ Domestic violence is not new to us, but it is now a social problem and I believe that a social problem comes to light when a significant number of people recognize something as being a problem that can affect our society.
☆ According to CNN report, a woman is beaten every second, two out of every three women whom are beaten either know their batterers were related to them.
☆ Today, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury among women between the ages of 15 - 44. According to statistics, one third of all women at one point in their lives, have received some form of physical violence from a spouse. Among other reasons why men violate or abuse women, majority of the men who usually violate women have a very low self-esteem and are usually insecure. These men do not want their wives to work because he wants to feel needed at all times. He also does not always feel comfortable seeing her around other men or even women. Other men are a threat to the male batterer, because he is usually very jealous.
☆ Batterers also blame other people for their actions and also present a dual personality.
☆ women are violated in so many ways....
• Hitting
• Slapping
• Punching
• kicking
• Burning
• Strangulation
• Damaging personal property Etc
☆ I do understand that the causes of women being violated is based on low self-esteem in the lives of abusive men who always feel cheated, intimidated not listened to and a feeling of not being in control at all times. This makes them allow bitterness grow within them.
☆ There is this story about a woman who searched for love but got a batterer as a husband. This lady is very hard working and one who has her passion for business. Immediately she said yes to this young man and they started building a family together, they were blessed with 2 boys. This lady's business became a success and her husband envied her so much. Through this business of hers, she was able to get a plot of land. One day, she asked her husband, dear who's name are we acquiring the land. He and said, ‘’His name’’. He knows their culture that if his name is on it that his family (especially his sisters) will claim it in the future at the demise of the man.
The wife tried to convince him against his decision in a bid to secure the family’s future and that of their children but the man paid deaf ears to her plea.
The woman went head to secretly put her own name on the land papers for the sake of their kids and that is when real problems began to unfold in the family. The man is a violent type so he used that opportunity to tell his wife not to allow visitors in their home especially women.
Few weeks later the wife went for a breast surgery and at that point in her life she needed a friend to help her out with house chores and this led her to call one of her friends to assist her in taking care of her home while she was ill. The lady initially declined since she was aware that her friend's husband is the violent type and she could be putting her life in danger by accepting to cover up for her friend.
After series of pleas from a friend in need however, she decided to accept to help.
In the process of getting things done for her friend, the man came back and attacked the lady who came to help his wife. If not for the help of the neighbors who came to rescue her on time, she would have lost her life in the process.
Women are not the only receivers when it comes to abuse and molestation in our homes. Most men pass through verbal molestation from their wives and this has led to depression and suicide in most cases.
I understand domestic violence could be caused by
• low self-esteem
• low education or income
• young age
• aggressive or delinquent behavior as youth
• heavy alcohol and drug usage
• depression and so many more
☆ My advice to women who suffers domestic violence is that they should never let someone who has wronged them before to make them feel any less of a woman, or make them think there's something wrong with them. Let me conclude by saying don't devalue yourself because they don't see your value.
Always think positive about yourself.....
☆ please let me hear your thoughts on this....How do you think women should overcome domestic violence....
Written by Miss Jane Lekwandu
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